When you define yourself-- it's always defined in the context of others... or moreso compared to others; either you define yourself by conformity or differences, or how you are sharing, interacting and engaging with others. In Chapter 2, one of the foundations of dialogue is the relationship of self ("I" or "me") and others. Personally, when I think of my "self-identity" it never occurred to me that I was defining myself according to others and the relationship I share with them. But upon reading:
"Our identity only makes sense in relation to others" (Eisenberg p. 43)
It really stuck out to me because it really is our interactions with the people surrounding us that begin to affect how we perceive ourselves and image of self. Especially in the context of telling stories, or describing yourself to someone. You retell what you've been told by others- here's a simple example: a handsome athlete who spends his time doing community service has probably been told he's good-looking, talented in sports, generous in charity work... and therefore would possibly describe himself as: attractive, athletic, and nice. And this concept is easily transferrable to organizations because the self can easily be influenced by other members.
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12 years ago
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Wow. I never really thought of it that way. I like the way you explained it so clearly and you used a great example. I guess when I read this portion of the text I didn’t really dig that deep. But it makes sense that when people ask you to describe yourself; you really are repeating what you’ve been told by others. We live in a world where we are constantly sizing ourselves up to others. It is interesting that we still ask each other to describe themselves instead of asking how others would describe them. The reality of the situation is we would get the same answer. Great interpretation! Thanks.
ReplyDeletegreat blog! I really enjoyed reading your insights about the self image being influenced by what is around us. I believe that it is extremely influential and important to be aware of our surroundings to better fit our personal and unique image. Moreover I think that relationships and friendships have a vast importance as to how long they last, how profound they are, and how influential they are to each other. I have experienced these types of relationships and friendships where the person was not completely satisfied with who they were, and that in turn affected their communication and personal status.
ReplyDeleteQuite a few semesters ago, in Comm 101, we wrote essays on socially constructed realities. After that assignment, I will never look at myself the same way ever again. When I learned that we gauge ourselves based on what others say about us, I knew I needed to re-examine what I thought about myself. I needed to describe myself by the way I see myself and how I act. However, knowing who I am means nothing if how I am and what I say has a negative effect on others. So I will always be mindful of how I come off to others, especially people close and important to me.
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